In Bangladesh everything is upside down. There is more food than I want to eat, there is more green than I ever expected, plastic bags are illegal yet there is garbage EVERYWHERE, children are more intelligent than adults, right is wrong and wrong is right...depending who you ask (see last item in list to understand).
Today we planned to travel to camp. What I expected to be a joyous occasion celebrating our rural outpost for FFC was nothing less than a joyous visit including watching the children swim and play outdoors, eat several celebratory meals followed by a panic stricken free for all complete with an epileptic seizure, panic attack, a runaway, and the threatened firing of 3 staff. I found myself genuinely wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into. It is so difficult to explain the day. Perhaps because I can't begin to understand it yet myself.
Camp is supposed to be a retreat. A place to escape the stress, dirt and limits of the city. There is a pond, fields, animals and more. But this place seems to have turned into a prison for some of our boys complete with lockdown and punishment using bamboo rods. Kristen and I were devastated. The boys took us aside one by one begging to take them back to Dhaka.....do you hear me? Back to Dhaka! We found out that they were being hit, and warned not to talk to Kristen for fear of reprisal. It is so difficult to explain to adults that although hitting with a 1 inch in diameter stick may be culturally acceptable in Bangladesh, it is NOT acceptable to the many Canadian sponsors and government officials who approve our charitable status.
We brought an extra 6 boys home and will get more tomorrow. Staff have been warned and although Kristen (known as the axe queen here at FFC) is leaving October 5th, I will fire those who hurt the children. I will close the camp if need be.
You cannot begin to imagine a place with about 50 kids all begging for attention or begging to leave the camp for Dhaka. The pain in their eyes was exhausting. How do you say, 'sorry dear there just isn't enough room in the car'? You don't! You pile in as many as you can, tell the rest that you will be back in the morning, tell the staff that their jobs are on the line, pray to whatever god you choose to pray to, get in the van and drive off. Oh, and then you cry, if you can.
We arrive home, and Rea our housemother insists upon decorating me with Henna for EID tomorrow. EID is like Christmas, so this is Christmas Eve in Bangladesh. I don't have a new dress for EID, but I have a henna arm and hand and I have the experience of a lifetime....isn't that what I wanted to come here for?
Today we planned to travel to camp. What I expected to be a joyous occasion celebrating our rural outpost for FFC was nothing less than a joyous visit including watching the children swim and play outdoors, eat several celebratory meals followed by a panic stricken free for all complete with an epileptic seizure, panic attack, a runaway, and the threatened firing of 3 staff. I found myself genuinely wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into. It is so difficult to explain the day. Perhaps because I can't begin to understand it yet myself.
Camp is supposed to be a retreat. A place to escape the stress, dirt and limits of the city. There is a pond, fields, animals and more. But this place seems to have turned into a prison for some of our boys complete with lockdown and punishment using bamboo rods. Kristen and I were devastated. The boys took us aside one by one begging to take them back to Dhaka.....do you hear me? Back to Dhaka! We found out that they were being hit, and warned not to talk to Kristen for fear of reprisal. It is so difficult to explain to adults that although hitting with a 1 inch in diameter stick may be culturally acceptable in Bangladesh, it is NOT acceptable to the many Canadian sponsors and government officials who approve our charitable status.
We brought an extra 6 boys home and will get more tomorrow. Staff have been warned and although Kristen (known as the axe queen here at FFC) is leaving October 5th, I will fire those who hurt the children. I will close the camp if need be.
You cannot begin to imagine a place with about 50 kids all begging for attention or begging to leave the camp for Dhaka. The pain in their eyes was exhausting. How do you say, 'sorry dear there just isn't enough room in the car'? You don't! You pile in as many as you can, tell the rest that you will be back in the morning, tell the staff that their jobs are on the line, pray to whatever god you choose to pray to, get in the van and drive off. Oh, and then you cry, if you can.
We arrive home, and Rea our housemother insists upon decorating me with Henna for EID tomorrow. EID is like Christmas, so this is Christmas Eve in Bangladesh. I don't have a new dress for EID, but I have a henna arm and hand and I have the experience of a lifetime....isn't that what I wanted to come here for?
4 comments:
Dear Tami
I'm not sure what to say to help you through this.I guess there is two sides to everything good and bad.All you can do is call on your inner strengths to help you . you are making a difference it just isn't happening very fast and you can't change it over night or in 3 months. Just one little bit at a time.We love you and are praying for you. Keep in touch. We are going out to dinner on sunday to celebrate our anniversary.I called Ian ,Paul is picking him up . We are going to the Wayside Inn.I'll make a toast to you. Mom
Hi Tami,
Wow, can't imagine how you feel. I'm trying too and have tought about you all day and about those kids who are being mistreated. Keep doing the best you can, because that is all you can do and leave the rest up to God.
Is there anyway we can help?
Love Scott
My Sweet Dear Tami!
Thank you for asking Scott to call me. It was a surprise to hear his voice and it made my heart smile! Seeing your Mom and Dad brought tears to my eyes because I haven't seen them for so long. Yet it seems like just yesterday.
You are a brave and beautiful soul! Just like my Mom, every life that you touch with your caring and love will change that person forever. They will then pass it on to the people that they in turn will touch. Think of yourself like the pebble that is thrown into a lake of still water. The ripples will spread outward and grow larger and larger.
Look up at the stars tonight and know that I am looking at the same ones! I know that my Mom is the brightest of the twinkling stars!
Hugs,
Kim
HI, so by now you are in charge of it all, the big cheese. Just remember that and when you feel doubt about how to cope with all the unexpected things, let you faith and humanity and spirit guide you, and you will find the answer. As your mom said - you may not see much change even in 3 months, but you have to have faith that you are making positive impacte - you just may not be blessed to witness it. (think of the 5 people you meet in heaven). You are without question adding value there, but it will take a season or two before the seeds you have planted to bloom.
Know that we here all support you and love you.
Brenda
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