The Children - Some

Here are some photos of the beautiful children of Families For Children Bangladesh. If you look in their eyes it's incredible what you can see...

Our Eid Party

Nila!

The world is an amazing place....

Liton

Josna

Tamara & Riya!

The work in Bangladesh continues with my friend Linda who is a retired Montessori teacher. She has set up a classroom with amazing resources and is already seeing results. I encourage you to keep an eye on Families For Children Bangladesh, to consider sponsoring a child or even to volunteer yourself.

Thanks for reading!

New Digs

After much consideration and the thoughtful advice from those who have experienced what I am experiencing. I decided to move to a new location for rest and rejouvenation. I have moved to our co-op and Spa. It's sounds so glamourous I even hate to say it. But the truth is, that for Bangladesh it is.

After being here for just under 2 weeks I came down with a fever that lasted 3 days followed by one day of a bad stomach and all that goes with that. I am fine now and don't know if it was something bad I ate, the infamous Denghe (spelling?) that inflicts some through what I believe is a mosquito bite or just a simple fever that everyone here seems to get. It was going to happen with 150 kids and me. However, I was not getting enough sleep and I got sick, so my friends in Canada and here in Dhaka suggested a quieter location.

I travel here in the evening by rickshaw but take an older boy with me for security. I am happy to pay the 10 taka extra for him to get a ride back home to the orphanage. Not only is it security but it gives me a chance to chat with one more youth one on one.

In the mornings I am content to go downstairs in my new Bangla dress call for a 'Cali!' (empty Rickshaw) tell them....Sector 9, Mascot Plaza, ask how much 'koto taka?' negotiate for 10 only and then take the ride to the orphanage/school. It makes me feel pretty good to negotiate this myself. It is safe, especially during the day and although everyone stares at me, I am very comfortable.

The streets are lined with furniture for sale, right beside the pineapples which is right beside the man selling shoes laid out on a piece of canvas. Amazing place Dhaka is.

The Spa is a co-op built by FFC and in particular Kristen Petri, my predecessor. She received a grant from the government to set this up. It will be used for a long time to train our girls to work in Beauty Parlours. There are many in Bangladesh, probably because of the climate.
Those who really know me will be surprised to learn that I had a facial (my first every) and a manicure (again, a first). I never in a million years thought that I would come to Dhaka to become 'girly'.

At night I hear dogs barking, and police whistles. It is illegal for children to be out after dark alone. I worry a little about them as I hear the whistles but know that for them all of this is NORMAL, it is only ME that finds this strange. My bed is covered in a mosquito net and I pretend to be a princess. I sleep in a silk sleeping bag liner, which is great for keeping out the bedbugs. I have not seen any but who needs to take a chance. When it rains, and it rains a lot, the rain pours onto the roof, down the stairwell and into the place. Quite the system. But again, it's just the way it is, in Bangladesh.

(Sumi sitting on my bed)

My kitchen is stocked with peanut butter and jam, tea and coffee and a few chocolate chips for when I get a craving. Everything must go in the fridge though, I think this place was built on an ant hill the way they infest the place. No worries though, more food for the cockroaches. We play a stomping game and the kids think it's funny that I am not afraid of them.

Every day I feel like I am getting closer to the kids. I touch, hug, stroke, and tell them I love them as often as I can. I tell them that they are important, that I came here for them and that if they want to and work hard enough, that they can go and be and do anything that they want. My only fear is that I am creating unrealistic dreams. But then again, who is to say? I actually believe it and so I will say it. Nothing that I would not say to you, each one of you who read this.
All my love,Tamara

Day 10 - Camp

In Bangladesh everything is upside down. There is more food than I want to eat, there is more green than I ever expected, plastic bags are illegal yet there is garbage EVERYWHERE, children are more intelligent than adults, right is wrong and wrong is right...depending who you ask (see last item in list to understand).

Today we planned to travel to camp. What I expected to be a joyous occasion celebrating our rural outpost for FFC was nothing less than a joyous visit including watching the children swim and play outdoors, eat several celebratory meals followed by a panic stricken free for all complete with an epileptic seizure, panic attack, a runaway, and the threatened firing of 3 staff. I found myself genuinely wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into. It is so difficult to explain the day. Perhaps because I can't begin to understand it yet myself.

Camp is supposed to be a retreat. A place to escape the stress, dirt and limits of the city. There is a pond, fields, animals and more. But this place seems to have turned into a prison for some of our boys complete with lockdown and punishment using bamboo rods. Kristen and I were devastated. The boys took us aside one by one begging to take them back to Dhaka.....do you hear me? Back to Dhaka! We found out that they were being hit, and warned not to talk to Kristen for fear of reprisal. It is so difficult to explain to adults that although hitting with a 1 inch in diameter stick may be culturally acceptable in Bangladesh, it is NOT acceptable to the many Canadian sponsors and government officials who approve our charitable status.

We brought an extra 6 boys home and will get more tomorrow. Staff have been warned and although Kristen (known as the axe queen here at FFC) is leaving October 5th, I will fire those who hurt the children. I will close the camp if need be.

You cannot begin to imagine a place with about 50 kids all begging for attention or begging to leave the camp for Dhaka. The pain in their eyes was exhausting. How do you say, 'sorry dear there just isn't enough room in the car'? You don't! You pile in as many as you can, tell the rest that you will be back in the morning, tell the staff that their jobs are on the line, pray to whatever god you choose to pray to, get in the van and drive off. Oh, and then you cry, if you can.

We arrive home, and Rea our housemother insists upon decorating me with Henna for EID tomorrow. EID is like Christmas, so this is Christmas Eve in Bangladesh. I don't have a new dress for EID, but I have a henna arm and hand and I have the experience of a lifetime....isn't that what I wanted to come here for?

Day 7 - Finally Tears Come

Some days here are more difficult than others. I finally had one of my difficult days. I knew it was coming but it still hit me harder than I had expected.
I am learning so much here. About Bangladesh, about politics, about myself. I am beginning to wonder how much stamina I actually have. I have always prided myself on being strong, but am I?

The frustration here is twofold. The world here is corrupt from the top right down to the bottom. I don't know if corrupt is even a word that exists in Bengali because it seems to be a part of their culture. This is the kind of place where you can do anything if you have enough money. They do not understand why, if they have money, why we cannot help them get into Canada. And theft is rampant right from the top of the government down to the poorest orphanage. I will explain. If you want to do anything in Bangladesh it is possible if you pay the right government official enough money. If you live in an orphanage in Dhaka, your bed-mate may steal your underwear. Now do you see?

My second frustration is the lack of care of the children. They all need so much attention, it is exhausting. When Kristen and I go to visit the girls house they literally hang off both of us. I am anxious about when she leaves that there will not be enough of me to go around. My job is to give the kids attention, to supervise the staff at the orphanage, to create liasons between FFC and Canadian and Bangladeshi officials...and all in 3 months. The good news is that I am continuing work already begun. But the bad news is that right now there is no volunteer scheduled to follow me.

Yesterday, we spent a lovely afternoon at the Canadian Club, shmoozing with government employees and eating Caesar salad and drinking Heinekin (1). It was another world. Then we returned home to eat Iftar (celebratory Muslim meal after fasting) then eating dinner, then visiting the entire Other House which includes the Special Care Floor.
This floor is the most difficult to see. These are mentally and physically disabled abandoned kids. I don't think that I can begin to describe it. Most are barely clothed, and sit on the floor. They have help from the women we employ but it is so sad. They grab you, hit themselves, rock, and go to the bathroom wherever they are. And this is good care in Bangladesh.

We completed our day by sorting through cockroach infested clothes and handing them out to the children who pretended they were shopping and all said 'Thank you' as they left the room. We finished at 12:30 a.m. I must admit that I came home and cried...my first time.

To all who read this, please don't worry, I am fine, I am lucky. And don't think that I am special for travelling to this place of heaven and hell. Just know that we are all dealt a different hand in life, and one card is simply the location of your birth.

Day 5 - Party Time

Today was a very special day for FFC. Today was the grand opening of the FFC Women's Gym, Spa and Co-op. Many people have been working very hard to make this happen. It is difficult to explain how important this is to these children. They have done much of the work at the Spa, they have cooked the food, prepared the entertainment and so much more. The party atmosphere is the same here as at home. It's like Christmas dinner and I think in many ways that the photos will do a better job explaining than I could ever do in words. So, this is more of a photo blog.....Enjoy.


Kristen, touching up the paint.





Mala, my assistant, dancing!






Sonawara and I in the fashion show! And musical entertainment!


Only a few of us!

Day Three - The Rickshaw

After writing my last blog one of the girls, Aki 2, came to me and asked me to go to the Beauty Parlour with her. So off we went at 9:30 at night to go and help clean and paint and more. By the time we left it was past midnight and you have to imagine the scene.....8 girls, 3 boys, 2 Canadians walking home in streets of Dhaka after midnight (relax mom, no Bangla's are out this late) and it is POURING rain. We can't find a taxi or a rickshaw for a long time. Apparently Bangla's are afraid of the rain and Kristen and I can't figure out why for the life of us as we welcome the cool water after such a long hot day. Finally a rickshaw comes, only after a car passes us in a 4 inch puddle and does not slow down...I am soaked. We ride home, in the rain, by rickshaw, laughing all the way. I think I laugh more here.

Today was more rickshaw but in crazy traffic. I ventured out on my own for the first time (okay I took a student with me to translate but hey!) I bought a computer adapter (the wrong one) picked up photos for Kristen (couldn't find them) and bought paint for the Spa (the wrong colour). But I made it there and back okay! This place fills me with gratitude for small successes.

My day is complete with my own internet hook-up because I pushed myself and asked for it. As well, I sang a group of our little ones to sleep tonight. They reminded me so of Duncan and Ian that I 'almost' cried. They are ill with a skin condition and so they are seperated from the rest of the kids. They call me mama Tamara and now they know that 'Tamara gun' which means Tamara sing!

Oh, and did I tell you, that 2 inch beedle, was a cockroach! Oh well.

Tomorrow I actually begin to work. But I will still sing to the kids. I can't wait to bring out my flute!

Do no bad! (Thank you)

T

P.S. Soon I will have my webcam fixed and I will be able to send instant photos. (Kevin, this is what I look like when I'm camping, or when I'm in Bangladesh!)

Day Two - Women's Co-op & More

Today I awoke at 6:40 a.m. and felt good and refreshed. I had a bath in a tub, which is a real treat here. There is no hot water but it doesn't matter because the cold feels so good. I filled the tub with about 2 inches and just laid in it. Breakfast was an egg, a banana and some challah(bread), oh and sweet tea.

We had decided that I would go with 3 of the girls to the International School (the I.S) and set up a table to sell the things that the women make in the Co-Op. Mom, you were right, the co-op is at the school in Dhaka as well as in India. We spent the day and sold 3,250 takas worth of stuff. It takes 67 takas to make 1 dollar. The most exciting part for me was the ride home in a scooter. Imagine 4 of us, 3 bags of stuff crammed into the back of a 3 wheeled scooter with a metal and plastic floor walls and ceiling with no doors. The busses were so close to us that we had to squish to keep our knees in so as not to touch them. I laughed all the way home and it made the girls laugh.

Dhaka is amazing. I think the thing that strikes me is the smell. It is a combination of sewage, exhaust, heat, and something that I cannot name. I will likely smell of it when I come home.

The school is wonderful, busy, struggling but so much more. I am told that they employ almost 80 people between the 2 schools and the camp. I think that may be a wonderful spinoff of such a wonderful endeavour of Sandra, our founder.

The children live here, all are orphans. We have many special needs kids and all need in some way. The goal here is to get them off the street, give them basic needs and education and to try to help them find work or perhaps marriage. There are not many jobs here for women. I asked a lot of questions today to find that women sew, make things to sell, sometimes have other jobs or get married. If they are not married, it is very difficult. So we try to educate them and teach them some skill that will help them to live.

Kristen, the current volunteer has spent the last 3 months putting together a Spa so that the girls could learn some new and valuable skills. She wrote and received a grant to make it happen. It is very exciting for the girls right now. I will send photos.

Again, know that I am well. I am having a hard time trying to imagine how I can possibly help. I send my love to all. I am finding it difficult to put this into words so forgive me if my writing is scattered.